Raising Cain by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson is a book about raising boys. This is the boys’ complement to Lisa Damour’s Untangled
This book is great for boys to read, but also gives insights on dads, and moms – the relationships between boys and their peers, their parents, even the pressures society puts on them to be toxically masculine, to behave and believe and pretend to be – or feel – a certain way.
This is an alternative way: allowing boys to feel, to express themselves freely, to be heard, to be strong in more ways than physical ones.
These guidelines from the book were amazing as a takeaway:
1. Give boys permission to have an internal life, approval for the full range of human emotions, and help in developing an emotional vocabulary so that they may better understand themselves and communicate more effectively with others.
2. Recognize and accept the high activity level of boys and give them safe places to express it.
3. Talk to boys in their language – in a way that honors their pride and their masculinity. Be direct with them; use them as consultants and problem solvers.
4. Teach boys that emotional courage is courage, and that courage and empathy are the sources of real strength in life.
5. Use discipline to build character and conscience, not enemies.
6. Model a manhood of emotional attachment.
7. Teach boys that there are many ways to be a man.
If you have a boy or man in your life (or are one) this one is important.
Okachiko - Sit There 